I started practising yoga when I was 21, just a couple of months after I had given birth to my son. It was a time in my life where I was feeling very overwhelmed, stressed and with strong pains in my neck that were not allowing me to sleep.
I was finishing my last year at University whilst having a newborn. My life was very busy. Amidst all this, I decided to give yoga a try. It was hard for me. With the rush of life passing by, it had become nearly impossible to slow down. It seemed impossible to not think of all the work I had to do.
I felt I was not able to stop my mind from thinking. Have you ever felt that your body is there to hold your head in place so you can go on thinking and contemplating forever?
I was exactly there and I was there for far too long.
I also believed that I was misusing my time by attending a yoga class. I constantly had more essential things to do, like the infinite requirements that my jobs involved and all responsibilities of being a parent.
Do you know that self-sacrificing attitude where you think about everybody else and forget about you?
Well I was just that. I believed, on an unconscious level, that I was not deserving my own moments of self care. I was guilt-ridden when I permitted myself to slow down.
I was “existing” in a super busy life, juggling and multitasking lots of family demands and work. I was always the last on my list. It never crossed my mind that slowing down was even plausible for me. In spite of this, I kept attending the yoga classes as it was the only means that provided relief for the pain in my neck.
One day, after nearly two years of persistent practice, I dozed off all through the guided meditation. I have no remembrance of what happened but it was a pivotal moment that changed something on an unconscious level. When I woke up I knew that yoga was a means for me to access the totality of who I am.
Things started to change. I craved to immerse myself into yoga and its philosophy.
I wanted to go deeper than just the yoga pose so I took my first teacher training spread over 3 years. It was life changing and I discovered so much about myself. I began to be aware of my body and recognised how challenging it was for me to be present in it. My tendency, as is commonplace for many people, was to dissociate from events that were raw and painful. I was an expert in sweeping things under the rug. Now it was the time to get to know myself by asking:
Who am I?
Do you ever ask this question to yourself? If not, please do.
When I slowed down and delved deeper into my practice, deeper than the superficial approach of how I appeared in the yoga pose, I recognised that my body felt emotionally numb, not only during the class but also in my daily life. My desire at this point was to explore my body, my feelings, emotions, pains and joys and whatever was arising. I was curious of everything my body was trying to show me.
I yearned to become an embodied human being. I sought to experience how it felt to be totally alive in my body. I wanted to feel life pulsating through my veins and be present with all of life’s experiences.
My yoga practice and teachings evolved. I was creating a dialogue with the body. I started to adopt my own way of coming into the body at the same time as creating a new way of intuitively teaching yoga. This stemmed from my inner wisdom and intuition.
What does coming in the body mean?
It is being aware of and feeling into each and every part of yourself, tuning to this deep wisdom that lies within each and every one of us and living from the centre of our own being. When we are relaxed, when our breath is soft and when we are able to slow down, we can connect to who we really are.
I started to become more attuned with the energy of the subtle body. I discovered that I could change my state of being through yoga, movement, breath and meditation.
It was becoming clear that pain, discomfort and any form of distress, both physical and emotional were the way forward. At instances, my body was whispering, and I realised that if I lingered, my body would scream and I would end up completely off my balance.
Do you believe that whatsoever you see as ‘problems’ are in reality invitations for growth?
Using the techniques of yoga and wisdom that was arising out of my own body, I started to inhabit my ‘temple’. I realised that the true meaning of yoga was about understanding how to exist inside myself. After years of personal practice, healing and embracing, coming to terms and acceptance of various painful experiences in my life, shedding the layers (armour) and masks I had surrounded myself with, I commenced to fully inhabit myself.
My teachings arise mostly out of the wisdom of my own body and my life experience. I am devoted to my work because for the last fifteen year I have witnessed lots of positive transformation in people.
My calling is to be of service to people who want to slow down, connect to their body and wish to access their own soul’s purpose, their light and gift. I trust that it is time that each and every one of us remembers and awakens to our own inner truth.
This is why I have created Embodied Voyage, a guidance into the stillness and silence of the body.
I would love for you to join me.
“I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being.”